Solving Problems
by Sable Supernova
Summary: It's the height of the First Wizarding War, and some of the most influential men of the Wizarding World gather to discuss a couple recent issues that have arisen. Dark comedy. Oneshot.


Prompts:  
Writing Bingo: Abraxas Malfoy  
Chocolate Frog Cards Challenge: Derwent Shrimpling - Write a Dark Comedy

* * *

 **Solving Problems**

Smoke rose in great plumes, like mist from a mountain side at dawn, circling the brass chandelier above the men. Lucius, yet a young man in his unwed prime, was rarely invited to partake in the Sunday afternoon politics, but this week, he'd been lucky enough to observe a problem that needed solving, so he'd been invited to discuss the solution.

A bottle of Odgen's finest 1953 firewhiskey was being circled, poured generously into tumblers as if it was a cheap bottom shelf bottle while cigars were lit all around. Lucius was leaning over the coffee table, quill in hand as he tried to make sense of the conversation and jot down anything necessary.

"Punishment to fit the crime, I say! If Burke wants to whisper in the wrong ears, he ought to find himself without a tongue with which to whisper," Pollux announced, turning his upper lip up in a bitter expression.

"Borgin and Burke are useful allies. Perhaps we ought to be more persuasive than demanding," Abraxas noted, raising a blonde eyebrow pointedly at the older man.

"Abraxas, we all know how much you enjoy throwing your money at people, but they own a highly successful business. It isn't money they're after," Pollux argued.

"I wasn't suggesting anything of the sort, Pollux. I was merely wondering how Borkin's wife is faring as of late," Abraxas responded, smooth and silky, proud of himself.

From his right, he heard a choked laugh, the raspy sounds of Arcturus, now an old man with valuable wisdom.

"From what I hear, she's doing wonderfully while her husband's at work," Orion commented derisively, earning himself boyish laughter from the gathered friends.

"Yes, but Borkin's blissfully in the dark about that, so let's not break that ice. Abraxas is right. Remind them who their loyal customers are and inform them that should they forget again, an accident might happen. Then we keep our eyes open," Cygnus suggested, to a murmur of agreement.

"Now, what about the Prewetts? Our Lord doesn't believe them to pose much of threat, but they're making their own improvements at the Ministry, who are being very responsive to the brothers. Our Lord will let us do as we see fit," Abraxas explained, telling them nothing they didn't all already know.

"I could think of a few improvements I'd like to make to them, by Merlin's beard," Pollux commented, earning a few laughs as they all happily pictured the worst.

"They've been gathering a lot of information between them. I wouldn't mind pinning their ears to the ground," Cygnus added, displaying the macabre violent streak his eldest daughter inherited from him.

"They like sticking their noses in other people's business, too. Maybe they'd be more cautious about it if they were broken," Orion piped in, a smile on his face as he enjoyed the turn of the conversation.

"They point their fingers at me and my kin so frequently I'd enjoy snapping them off," Abraxas added, joining in.

Arcturus turned to Lucius with a cough. "What do you think, son? Which punishment best fits the Prewetts' crime?"

"I'm afraid I don't have much of an opinion," Lucius commented, still young enough to be wary of saying the wrong thing in such a crowd.

"Good!" Arcturus replied. "Too many whippersnappers like you have too many opinions, filling themselves up with ideas! We weren't made for it, you know, us and our kind. And, by Merlin's beard, how many of them have got it all wrong?"

Orion and Cygnus laughed along with the others, of course, but both shifted in their seats a little uncomfortably, their respective families' recent dishonours still open wounds.

Pollux cleared his throat, refocusing the gathered crowd. "Perhaps, where the Prewetts are concerned, it's time for a more permanent solution."

There was a murmur of agreement, mutterings of 'hear, hear!' All thought it was about time the Prewetts met their fate.

"Sounds like a job right up your daughter's street, Cygnus," Orion commented, making reference to Bellatrix and her tendencies, which had become more than apparent as of late. Arcturus and Pollux laughed, along with the Malfoys, but Cygnus did not appear impressed, his grey eyes tense as storm clouds.

"If it falls to my daughter, Orion, it would be because your son hasn't got it in him," Cygnus retorted, bringing into question Regulus's commitment to the cause. Arcturus and Pollux laughed once more, a hearty chuckle.

"Now, now!" Abraxas rushed to quieten them before wands were drawn. "We're gathered here as friends. I believe, perhaps, Fenrir may take enjoyment out of such a deployment," he suggested, a safe option.

"Fenrir's been known to take license. The last thing we need are more bloody half-breed monstrosities," Arcturus retorted.

"But on the other hand, my wife has been asking for some new fur rugs for the fireplaces," Pollux added.

"Do remember it'll soon be Bonfire Night. A live Guy or two on the fire sounds delightful," came Orion's dulcet tones.

Once the laughter died down, Abraxas attempted to bring the tone back to reality. "The Prewetts are good at gathering information, we know. They may have information we could use. I think it would be sensible for us to extract it before our ideas run away with us."

"Sounds like a task for the Lestrange brothers," Cygnus commented, thinking of his daughter's betrothed.

"So long as they don't accidentally kill someone before we get any information again," Orion darkly added, thinking of the clean-up job that had taken.

"It was rather enjoyable to watch them squirm in front of our Lord, though," Pollux added, reminiscing with a grim smile.

"If you ask me, handing them over to the Lestranges is rather light. They should consider themselves lucky. I know I would if I were in their shoes," Cygnus commented, a sense of optimism brightening his words.

"Agreed," Abraxas chimed in. "Lucius, handle the details, would you?" he asked his son.

"Certainly. I look forward to it."

"Shall we break out the cards now?" Abraxas queried, eyeing the poker table.


End file.
